Monday, 25 June 2012

Head mashing.....

Yeah, I know, not exactly the most erudite of titles.  But it's about all I'm capable of right now.  It's 10pm, and we have just got back from our first day of classes.  We've had teaching from Kris Vallottan and Bill Johnson, both of whom offered nugget after nugget of theological truths to feed on.  I'm glad I've taken so many notes - it's going to take a long time to process them all.

This afternoon I was convinced I was going to be writing a post about community, based on the experiences I have already had here.  And then tonight happened.  One hour in a room with Teresa Deadmon, in a session called 'Living your dream'.  In that time, she got us to imagine with God, dream big dreams about what we saw ourselves doing with God, and then do a piece of art that reflected that.  I cried through most of it.  I was so challenged on how I have previously said, 'yes Lord, do what you will with me, take me wherever you will', and yet He highlighted to me a massive obstacle that I have put up in the way of that.  It took me by surprise, as I hadn't realised its presence before, and it is going to be tough to let go of.  But in seeing this, I was then able to dream more freely than perhaps I have done before.  Where God took me was to an image, a set of circumstances in the future, that brought together a number of things that have been said over me and have been of interest to me varied amounts of time - probably some of them for over ten years, and things I probably haven't shared before.  Teresa has encouraged us to keep our artwork with us, and reflect on it over the next two weeks in particular, to have God continue speaking to us.  I am trusting that, if what I have seen is accurate, He is going to use others to affirm it, even if I have no idea how it will take shape.  

When I came here, I was so nervous that nothing would change, nothing would transform, that I would come back unaffected by these two weeks.  I don't think that is possible.  I know I have a role to play in that, and I am so grateful that He has already given me a degree of focus for my prayers as I move forward through this time.  

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